If I could send a message back to my 20-year-old self, it would probably be ignored. That’s just how being 20 works. Back then I thought I knew everything. I grew up in the Gen X era, where we were basically raised by television, junk food, and the vague instruction to be home before dark. We learned by screwing things up and dealing with the consequences. Looking back, there are a few things I wish somebody could have beaten into my thick skull before I spent years learning them the hard way.

The first thing on the list is simple: don’t marry the future ex-wife. There are mistakes, and then there are life-altering mistakes that consume years you never get back. When you’re young, you convince yourself that love conquers all, people change, and every problem can be fixed if you just try harder. That’s a nice movie plot, but real life doesn’t care about movie plots. Sometimes the biggest favor you can do for yourself is recognizing a bad idea before it becomes a permanent commitment. Older me would love to save younger me a whole lot of aggravation, stress, and wasted time.

The second thing I’d say is get a dog as early as possible. Dogs turned out to be better company than a surprising percentage of the human race. They don’t lie, play games, hold grudges, or stab you in the back. Feed them, take care of them, and they’re happy. It’s the most honest relationship you’ll ever have. Which brings me to the third lesson: stop spending so much time worrying about everybody else. I wasted years trying to help people, support people, fix people’s problems, and be the reliable guy everyone could count on. The funny thing is that many of those same people eventually disappeared, let me down, or proved they weren’t nearly as loyal as I thought they were.

Age has a way of stripping away illusions. You eventually realize that most people are temporary characters in your story. Some are great. Some are terrible. Most just drift in and out over time. The older I get, the less interested I am in impressing anyone. Give me a few people I trust, a couple of good dogs, some peace and quiet, and a life with as little drama as possible. That’s the stuff that actually matters. Everything else is just noise, and Gen X has spent enough years listening to noise already.