I’m using the daily prompts from The Coffee Monsterz Co — sincell coming up with my own ideas is clearly too much work.

When I’m in a good season, I can almost pass as a social human being. I’ll answer texts, go places, and even talk to people without needing to lie down afterward. I say stuff like “I should get out more,” and actually mean it for about six hours. I might even start thinking I enjoy life. Then someone invites me to something that involves crowds, forced laughter, or group photos, and I remember—I don’t. My version of thriving is existing quietly without anyone trying to “fix” my mood.

When things get rough, I stop pretending. I go full ghost mode. No explanations, no apologies. My phone goes dark, my brain goes darker, and I only speak to whoever can handle silence without panicking. I’m not being dramatic; I’m just tired. People drain me even when I like them. It’s not personal—it’s physics. The more life pushes, the more I pull away until I can breathe again.

The funny part is, I kind of like both versions of me. The one that shows up proves I can function, and the one that vanishes reminds me I don’t have to perform. I’m not anti-people, I’m just pro-peace. The world’s loud enough without me shouting over it. Some folks find meaning in noise. I find it in the quiet—preferably behind a locked door with my phone on airplane mode.