Do you need time?

People love asking, “Do you need more time?” like it’s a polite question and not a thinly veiled insult. “Hey, you look stressed, maybe you just need more time.” Yeah, Janet, and maybe you just need to stop talking.

Let’s get this straight: nobody needs more time. We all get the same 24 hours, and most of us are out here burning through them trying to survive meetings that should’ve been emails, figuring out dinner, and pretending we’re fine. Time isn’t the problem. People are. Specifically, the ones who think “managing time” means cramming 32 hours of chaos into one day and calling it “hustle.”

Every productivity guru acts like time is some magical resource we can stretch if we just wake up at 4 a.m., drink kale, and write gratitude journals about how blessed we are to be miserable. Meanwhile, I’m over here staring into space trying to remember what decade it is.

The older I get, the more I realize we don’t want more time—we want better time. We want the kind where you can sit on your porch, not answer texts, and let your brain cool off for five minutes without feeling like you’re failing at life. But apparently that’s lazy now.

Everyone’s so addicted to “doing” that nobody remembers how to be. You ever try to do nothing? It’s weirdly hard. Your phone starts whispering, “Hey… you could check your email real quick.” And you think, “Yeah, just one…” and suddenly it’s midnight and you’re watching videos of raccoons stealing cat food.

I don’t need more time. I need fewer things stealing it. Fewer notifications. Fewer “quick favors.” Fewer “you up?” texts from people who clearly don’t understand boundaries or sleep schedules.

Time doesn’t care about your to-do list, your goals, or your caffeine addiction. It’s not out to get you—it’s just doing its thing. It ticks. You panic. The end.

So next time someone says, “Do you need time?” just smile and say, “No, I need everyone to shut up for five minutes.”