If I could erase one trend from history forever, it’d be this ridiculous obsession with wearing your pants halfway down your ass. Seriously. Pull up your fucking pants. I don’t want to see your underwear. Nobody does. It wasn’t cool twenty years ago, and somehow it’s still hanging around like that one broken shopping cart with the wobbly wheel.

I never understood the logic behind it. You spend money on a perfectly good belt, then refuse to use it. Every five steps you’re grabbing your pants so they don’t end up around your ankles. Congratulations. You’ve voluntarily turned walking into a full-time job. Imagine intentionally making it harder to move just because someone, somewhere, decided looking like you lost a fight with gravity was fashionable.

The funniest part is that people will spend hundreds of dollars on shoes, shirts, hats, and jewelry, then proudly display a pair of stretched-out boxer shorts they probably bought in a three-pack at Walmart. That’s the centerpiece of the outfit? Really? If your underwear is the highlight of your wardrobe, it might be time to rethink a few life choices.

Call me old. Call me Gen X. I don’t care. Some trends deserve to stay buried, right next to frosted tips, Bluetooth earpieces worn 24/7, and those stupid fake wallet chains. Wear whatever you want, but for the love of all that’s holy, wear your damn pants where they were designed to be worn. The rest of us are just trying to buy groceries without getting an unsolicited tour of Fruit of the Loom