What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it?

If I had to name a chapter of my life, it’d be The Hard Years.

Hell, if I’m being honest, that chapter lasted almost my whole damn life.

The last twelve years have been the best years I’ve ever had. Everything before that? It felt like life kept looking at me and saying, “Let’s see what else this guy can take.”

When I was a kid, I always felt ignored. My brother has Asperger’s, so he got most of my parents’ attention. Back then, that pissed me off. I was just a kid, and all I knew was I felt invisible. Looking back now, I get it. He needed more than I did, and my parents were doing the best they could. I don’t blame them anymore. It just took me a long damn time to understand it.

Then came my first marriage.

We’ll just call her Bitch and leave it at that.

I worked all day, came home, took care of the house, helped raise the kids, fixed whatever was broken, and somehow that still wasn’t enough. She could spend money like we had an unlimited supply of it, but helping around the house? Apparently that wasn’t in the job description. I kept telling myself it was love. Maybe it was. Maybe I was just too stubborn to admit I was miserable. Either way, it sure as hell wasn’t worth it.

Then she cheated.

That was the end of that story.

Funny how somebody can blow up your entire life and then act like you’re the problem. Humans are weird like that.

Then I met Jen.

Everything changed.

For the first time, I knew what it felt like to have a partner instead of another damn responsibility. She’s my equal. My best friend. My rock. My soulmate. We don’t keep score. We don’t expect the other person to carry everything. We just handle life together. That’s what marriage was supposed to be all along. It just took me a while to find the right person.

So what got me through all those years?

Being Gen X.

We didn’t get told life was fair because it isn’t. We got told to suck it up, quit feeling sorry for ourselves, stop being a pussy, and keep moving. Looking back, maybe that wasn’t the healthiest advice ever given, but it taught us something that still matters.

No matter how hard life punches you in the face…

…you get back up.

You go to work.

You take care of your family.

You deal with your shit.

Then you do it all again tomorrow.

It isn’t glamorous. It isn’t motivational poster material. It’s just what a lot of us did.

Life finally quit trying to kick my ass about twelve years ago. These days I’ve got an amazing wife, a good life, and more peace than I ever thought I’d have.

Turns out all those hard years eventually led me exactly where I was supposed to be.

I still wouldn’t recommend the trip.