This is the second time this year my estranged brother has opened a GoFundMe asking people to help pay his bills. Late rent. Electric shutoff notices. The possibility of losing his home. Serious problems that deserve serious attention. But here’s the part that doesn’t make sense: he’s got two vacations planned over the next six months. California at the end of November, followed by a cruise early next year. Apparently, the money situation is desperate enough to ask strangers for financial help, but not desperate enough to cancel the vacations. Explain that logic. I’ll wait.

We haven’t spoken in years. We’re estranged, and I have no interest in getting involved in his personal life. Yet here I am, watching this happen again because I have a serious problem with people asking others for money while their own spending choices raise legitimate questions. If you’re facing homelessness, behind on rent, and staring at an electric shutoff notice, maybe the first thing you cancel is the vacation. Not the electric bill. Not the rent. THE VACATION. This isn’t complicated financial planning. It’s basic adult responsibility.

What bothers me most is that people who donate may have their own bills, families, and financial problems. They might hand over money because they genuinely believe they’re helping someone who has nowhere else to turn. They deserve to make that decision with an accurate picture of the situation. I can’t tell anyone what to do with their money, but I can question the priorities involved. And when this is the second time in one year, it’s reasonable to start asking questions. Being related to somebody doesn’t mean you have to ignore what they’re doing, and being estranged doesn’t mean you have to pretend you don’t see it. I’m not responsible for financing somebody else’s decisions. Neither are the strangers being asked to pay for them.

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