Disowned

I know someone who decided that presidential elections were more important than friendship, family, and years of knowing people. Since Election Day, he has disowned me and cut off every one of his friends. Not because somebody committed some unforgivable act. Not because somebody betrayed him. Politics. An election. A bunch of people in suits fighting for power while ordinary people tear their own lives apart over which one gets to sit in the big chair.

I’m Gen X. I’ve watched enough elections, political scandals, broken promises, and televised bullshit to know that politicians aren’t worth throwing away your entire social circle over. Vote for whoever you want. Believe whatever you want. Disagree with me until the sun burns out. I really don’t care. What I do care about is people being so consumed by political loyalty that they decide friends and relatives are disposable because they checked a different box on a ballot. Somewhere along the line, people forgot that you can disagree with someone without treating them like an enemy. Apparently, that concept has become too complicated for some people to process.

Now, the same person who decided that I and all his other friends weren’t worth speaking to because of a presidential election is in serious financial trouble. He’s online begging people for money and asking for help. And here’s where I draw my line. I’m not helping him. Not because I want to see him suffer, and not because I think financial problems are funny. Life can hit anybody hard, and sometimes people genuinely need help. But I’m not obligated to rescue someone who deliberately decided I was no longer worth having in his life. You don’t get to erase people when they disagree with you, walk away from years of friendship, and then expect those same people to show up when your own life falls apart. Relationships don’t work like a vending machine. You don’t get to reject someone, insert a crisis, and expect assistance to drop out of the bottom.

Here’s the part that really gets me. Presidential elections come and go. Administrations change. Politicians make promises, break promises, point fingers, collect donations, and move on to the next election cycle. Meanwhile, regular people are left dealing with the consequences of their own decisions. The politicians aren’t going to show up at your house and help you pay your bills because you defended them online. They aren’t going to rebuild your friendships after you burned every bridge over political differences. They don’t know you, and they aren’t losing sleep over whether you have anybody left to call when things go wrong. But your friends might have been there. Your family might have been there. The people you discarded might have been the very people who would have helped you through a difficult time. Instead, you decided that political loyalty mattered more. That’s your decision, and you’re entitled to make it. I’m equally entitled to decide that the relationship is over. I’m not going to pretend nothing happened just because the circumstances have changed.

I don’t hate this person. I’m not sitting around plotting revenge or hoping his situation gets worse. I’m simply not interested in pretending that friendship means nothing when times are good but suddenly means everything when times are bad. I have my own life, my own responsibilities, and my own problems. I’m not required to put those aside for someone who made it perfectly clear that I no longer belonged in his world. You made your choice. I accepted it. Now you get to live with it. Maybe someday people will figure out that a political party is not a substitute for a personality, a ballot is not a measure of someone’s worth, and disagreement is not betrayal. Until then, I’m staying out of the political circus. I have better things to do than lose friends over politicians who wouldn’t recognize either of us in a grocery store.

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